Do we have to involve a therapist, too?
Yes, except during initial phone consultations, or if you only seek online coaching. Once we begin to work as partners in an intimate relationship, it is unethical and potentially dangerous for both of us not to involve a licensed mental health professional throughout the process.
During the entire therapy, dialog is maintained between all members of the three-person team (client, therapist and surrogate). Decisions about the directions and pace of the therapeutic experiences are made by the entire team, with the goal being to provide you with the most helpful and healthy balance of safety, challenge, and success in the arena of sex, intimacy and relationship.
What you have already learned about yourself and what you are striving for in this life will guide all of us in the triad. Both your therapist and I will listen hard for what you are ready for at each stage of the work, but it will be your therapist’s job to hold the through-line of intention before, during and after the experience with me.
There may be anxiety or ungrounded excitement at the beginning of your relationship with me. Fear of change may arise at any point in the process. Your therapist's job will be to anchor and context these emotions as they arise, and guide you in your inner growth and behavioral intentions. I’ll constantly seek your therapist’s outside perspective, while I work within the relationship to steer its course. When issues come up in the relationship, as they should, I’ll count on your therapist to help me identify the most useful working edges.