Resources

Webinar

“Slow Sex.” Presented for the Center for Healthy Sex, April 18, 2019

Conference Presentation

Pioneered by Masters and Johnson over forty years ago, the practice of engaging Surrogate Partners to work directly and experientially with clients has continued to intrigue the sexual health community. In this presentation, we discuss the history, theory, principles, and process of Surrogate Partner Therapy (SPT).

This work can be utilized for clearer assessment and diagnosis, as well as assisting the client in building interpersonal, emotional, sensory and sexual skills. Using lecture, slides and experiential exercises, we illustrate the Sensate Focus process in SPT. We review the therapeutic relationship of the therapist/client/surrogate triad as well as introduce ways therapists can engage Surrogates as short-term trainers for specific skill building. Legal and ethical concerns of utilizing SPT will be addressed.

We end with a case study and Q & A.

Article

He Was My First, Too. Training for the work, and working with my first client, a “mid-life virgin”. From frozen to frothy. Published in Creative Nonfiction Magazine, Issue 71, 2019.

- Click here for my restatement in personal terms of the IPSA Ethical Standards.

- Click here for a list of Organizations that provide valuable additional information.

- Click here for a list of Therapists who work with Surrogate Partners.

For referrals to other Certified Surrogate Partners (male surrogates who work with women, female surrogates who work with men, or female surrogates who work with women), or additional referrals to Therapists who have experience working with Surrogates in this team therapy process, please contact referrals@surrogatetherapy.org.

Ethical Standards

I describe myself as "Surrogate Partner" only in therapeutic situations comprised of client, supervising therapist and myself as surrogate (“the therapeutic team”). I may be designated to act primarily as either a substitute partner or a co-therapist depending upon the agreement within the team.
I do my best to foster effective communication within the therapeutic team.
My primary responsibility is to the therapeutic team and the therapeutic situation. Within this situation, my chief focus and primary ethical responsibility is for the client's welfare.
The objectives and parameters of the therapeutic relationship will be discussed within the team so that the client may make informed decisions.
My relationship with the client is temporary, always within the context of the therapeutic situation and in association with the supervision of the therapist.
I seek to recognize and work within the boundaries and limitations of the client’s competence. And I will not attempt to use methods outside the range of my training and experience either. If I think that the client will benefit from methods beyond my expertise, I will communicate this to the supervising therapist.
Even though I have significant professional training and experience in addition to my certification in Surrogate Partner Therapy, the function of “Surrogate Partner” shall be primary while I am working as a Surrogate. However, if there is agreement in the team that other methods and techniques within my competence are appropriate for the welfare of the client, I may use these additional skills.
If, during my work with a client, the supervising therapist is not available when a situation arises in which consultation with the therapist would normally be required, I will take appropriate action for the welfare of the client.
My responsibility for the welfare of the client continues until it is terminated by mutual agreement in the therapeutic team; or the client voluntarily terminates the therapy.
The identity of a client, and all information received from or about him in the therapeutic situation shall not be communicated outside the therapeutic team without the client's expressed permission, except under the following conditions: a) when there is a clear and imminent danger to individuals or society, and then only to appropriate professional colleagues or public authorities; b) for the purpose of professional consultation with appropriate professional colleagues, if the identities of individuals are disguised to protect confidentiality. c) for the presentation of information to professional or lay groups, if the identities of individuals are disguised to protect confidentiality.
I shall be responsible for taking adequate precautionary measures against the transmission of communicable diseases and infections. It is also my responsibility to determine that the client has taken similar precautions.
I shall be responsible to ensure protection against conception.
In order to continue to be effective in the therapeutic situation, I will maintain independent, personally fulfilling social and sexual relationships.
In order to maintain optimum professionalism, I will: a) periodically stretch my awareness and skills through relevant continuing education; b) seek prompt and effective help when personal problems arise; c) arrange for adequate supervision for each case.
When I present information either publicly or privately about surrogate work or the IPSA organization, I shall indicate clearly whether the statements represent official IPSA policy or are my personal opinions.
I recognize that I may be regarded as representative of all surrogates and of IPSA even at times when I am not acting in this capacity. Therefore, I will conduct myself such as to uphold the professional reputation of surrogates and of IPSA.
Announcements of my surrogate services to the therapeutic community shall be limited to simple statements of name, training, credentials and experience, address, phone number, a brief statement of methods used and times available. I identify current and former supervising therapists only with their explicit permission.

Organizations

International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA)

IPSA is a non-profit organization providing information, referrals, support, and education to therapists, clients, and surrogate partners. www.surrogatetherapy.org

The American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT)

The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) is a not-for-profit, interdisciplinary professional organization. www.aasect.org

Sex Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS)

SIECUS was founded in 1964 to provide education and information about sexuality and sexual and reproductive health. SIECUS affirms that sexuality is a fundamental part of being human, one that is worthy of dignity and respect. www.siecus.org

The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (SSSS)

Founded in 1957, The Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality is the oldest professional society dedicated to the advancement of knowledge about sexuality. www.sexscience.org Institute for Sexuality Education, Enrichment and Enlightenment (ISEEE) Provides a variety of useful continuing education workshops for therapists and the public. www.instituteforsexuality.com

The Body Electric School

Since the 1980s, Body Electric has helped men experience their potential as erotically integrated, loving and self-aware beings through personal growth exercises, touch, conscious breath, and the wisdom of the body. www.thebodyelectricschool.com

Gay Love Spirit

Gay Love Spirit is an international organization that provides settings in which men can consciously explore with other men the interplay of sex and spirit. www.gaylovespirit.com

Marty McCombs, Ph.D.
Los Angelos, CA
(310) 281-7470
DrMMc4IPSA@aol.com
Dr. McCombs also serves as the Referrals and Screening Director for IPSA. Referrals@SurrogateTherapy.org

Vena Blanchard, Ph.D.
Los Angelos, CA
(760) 415-4220
vena.blanchard@gmail.com
Dr. Blanchard also serves as the Senior Trainer for IPSA’s surrogate training program.

Mim Chapman
Santa Fe, NM
(505) 989-1931
mimco8@gmail.com

Glen Tig
Vancouver, BC
(604) 569-1259
glentig@gmail.com

Erika Drezner
Boston, MA
617-969-4925
edrezner@riversidecc.org

Carmel Giordano
Philadelphia, PA
(215) 233-3241
carmellg1@verizon.net

Jenny Shealy
Asheville, NC
(828) 279-5369
shealy.jenny@gmail.com

Workshop for Gay Men

Pathways to Intimacy - A 3 day retreat workshop for gay men (co-created with Nick Evans)

During this retreat, you will explore how authenticity and presence deepen intimacy. In the safety of the workshop setting, you will discover how clear communication, conscious touch, and movement allow you to let go of defensive patterns and connect more deeply from the heart.

Bring your partner, bring your friends, or come on your own. Join a remarkable group of men as we explore deeper connections in male-male relationships. This clothing-optional workshop will allow you to explore new strategies of intimacy and connection with a variety of partners, and learn to:

chart the pleasures to be found in your partner's body, heart, mind, and spirit
risk being vulnerable
sustain presence and focus guided by your desire
touch and be touched for the moment-to-moment pleasure of it
invest in open-ended sensual possibilities rather than pre-scripted sexual scenarios.

Surrogate Partner TherapyF RojasSeptember 11, 2019